The term ‘self-sabotage’ is often used to describe a set of self-destructive behaviours or, at worst, an inner enemy seemingly determined to prevent us from achieving our goals and aspirations. Many of us yearn to conquer this relentless tyrant that appears bent on preventing our freedom and happiness.
Through my personal journey and the experiences of my clients, I’ve come to realize that we are always on our own side, never against ourselves. What we perceive as self-sabotage is, in fact, a part of us, created by us, with a single purpose: to keep us safe and shield us from harm. It’s essential to understand that we aren’t deliberately setting ourselves up for failure or punishing ourselves by not achieving our heart’s desires. Instead, our actions are rooted in self-preservation—a profound care and love for ourselves.
Let me illustrate this with a personal example:
For decades, I believed I was sabotaging my own success due to lingering feelings of unworthiness. Despite practicing affirmations, visualizations, meditations, investing in expensive coaches, attending seminars, and reading countless books on achieving financial abundance, my financial aspirations remained unfulfilled, leaving me feeling inherently inadequate. I began to question my abilities, wondering why I was seemingly sabotaging my own happiness and success, and whether I truly felt unworthy of financial prosperity.
This experience ignited a powerful determination to uncover a deeper truth within. I embarked on an emotional journey, feeling my way through and carrying no expectations of what I thought I might find. Instead, I ventured with compassion, wonder, curiosity, and heartfelt prayer. My intention was clear: to understand myself without judgment, free from preconceived notions and receive a greater truth.
In this inner exploration, I encountered a surprising and unexpected truth. I didn’t confront an enemy intent on sabotaging my happiness. What I discovered was a loving intention that I had created at a very young age—a part of myself with one singular purpose: to hold me in an unwavering embrace and shield me from harm. This internal protector had taken on the role of a protective guardian, filling the void left by the absence of external protection during my childhood.
This guardian exhibited unwavering loyalty and an unmatched determination to keep me safe. It faithfully executed its duty to safeguard me, recognizing that amassing financial resources would inevitably open me up to a broader world and expose me to a multitude of unknown experiences. For this protector, keeping me in a state of smallness wasn’t an act of malice; it was a strategy I had created, given my lack of resources as a child, to fend off potential threats and ensure my safety.
As I tapped into this intrinsic self-love and recognized the unmet need for external protection during my formative years, a deep sense of real hurt washed over me. I began to breathe freely, and a natural urge to forgive myself for the years I had spent judging myself as a failure melted away.
This journey of self-discovery led me to an extraordinary understanding: within each of us, there exists a wellspring of love waiting to be acknowledged and embraced.
If you’re seeking greater clarity and a deeper understanding of what might be impacting your goals and aspirations, please don’t hesitate to reach out and schedule a session with me today.
